This morning as I watched and listened to Christmas programs with music and narration my thoughts reverted to my childhood Christmases. We never had much that could be called excess and yet there were always presents under the tree; however I have no recollection of any of my presents with the exception of a truck when I was very young. What I do remember are the times with family. I remember the trees and the German tradition from my mother’s side of the family of going to the homes of aunts and my dear grandmother on Christmas eve to open presents. While I don’t remember any presents but the one, I remember the homes, the music, and the warm relationships. I remember Christmas dinner at my aunt Virgina’s home every Christmas day. Those are the things I remember from my childhood Christmases.
As I grew, married, and started a family of my own, we too did not usually have much excess; however I have wonderful warm memories and cherished photo’s from those times.
One Christmas I especially remember was in Rexburg Idaho. We had decided to forgo a Christmas tree that year (much to the scorn of some of my co-workers). Instead, we went around to large appliance stores and retrieved empty and broken down boxes and brought them home. From these we created a stable, animals, Joseph, Mary, and Shepherds. I don‘t remember what we made the manager from but child‘s doll played the part of the baby Jesus. The children with my wife and I colored the people, stable, and animals. In the end we did put up a small tree in the basement; however the nativity and the time spent with our children is what I remember most from that Christmas. I also cherish the many memories of making treats and delivering them to friends and neighbors. One of my favorite gifts was a hand made warm ear band given to my by a Carmel, a childhood friend, which I still appreciate and wear on cold winter days. We no longer practice the German tradition of opening presents on Christmas eve; but have resorted to the standard Christmas morning; however, every year our children have become used to and expect to sit and read the story of the birth of Christ and share our family prayer before any presents are opened. My hope is that they always remember that He really is the reason for the season.
I love Christmas, it is my favorite holiday, closely followed by Thanksgiving, with the family games and movies we shared (and when we lived in Rexburg the choral music in the old Tabernacle).
I’m not a big fan of Halloween; though my wife is. Over the years we have had many students live in our home. This year we have a wonderful young man from Ulsan Korea. We invited many of his friends over for a pre-Halloween party and carved pumpkins with Koreans, Chinese, and one student from Kuwait. We took great pictures and had a wonderful time that we will and I hope they will always remember.
Most gifts purchased from a store decay and are eventually forgotten; however, there are common threads in all of my best memories from any holiday. They involve creating something (for little or no money) together, they involved building relationships, and they involved giving to and including others. Those are the threads that make fond memories.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
What is Autism? Why is it on the rise? What can we do about it?
What is Autism?
Autism is a complicated neurological disorder which affects the brain and results in a developmental disability. It is characterized by: 1) Unusual and repetitive behaviors and/or narrow obsessive interests; 2) Poor Communication; and 3) Poor social skills to include: a) lack of or difficulty with joint attention (the ability to focus on the same item, person, animal, or thing “jointly” with another person, and/or b) significantly to extremely guarded interactions.
When people talk about Autism, they may mean the entire spectrum that would include: Autism, PDD NOS, or Aspergers.
Why is it on the rise?
There has been a great deal of conflictual information regarding soaring autism rates. Some have postulated that it is caused by childhood vaccinations. This theory has been tested and rebutted multiple times. However; there is still a possibility that while perhaps not causal there may be some environmental factor(s) in the rise in autism.
Others believe that the rising rate is simply due to our better ability to recognize autism and the current interest in focusing on this particular disability. Surly there is some truth to this. We are better able to recognize autism today than twenty years ago; however, that does not explain the numbers.
Some believe that in our changing society people with milder forms of autism are having more children. This is probably the case as today there are many very successful people with some form of autism and for some, we know there is a genetic component. However; this again cannot account for all the rise in diagnoses.
Another fairly recent finding has linked the age of the parents, either the mother or the father, and the rise in autism. Some research has made a connection with older parents and an increased incidence of autism.
The bottom line is, we don’t entirely know. There may be a combination of multiple factors and/or a cause yet unknown.
What can we do about it?
Fortunately there is reason to hope. There may be medical treatments on the horizon which can significantly improve symptoms for some children. There is some promising research that may even bring about a cure or prevention for some. While it may be years before we know, some good first steps have been taken.
We also know a great deal more today about treatment, what works and for whom. Treatment is so prescriptive now that there are solid options for many according age, diagnosis, and severity. We also know that best practice includes early intervention in the child’s natural environment within the child’s natural routines and involves the parents. This type of intervention in consultation with experts in the field is relatively inexpensive, in many cases saves money over the lifetime of the child, and dramatically enhances the quality of life for both child and family. In some cases, with the right intervention and higher functioning children, it has even eliminated enough of the symptoms for the child to lose the diagnosis of autism.
Supplemental material:
Best Practice Intervention Descriptions
http://www.autismspeaks.org/whatisit/index.php
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/info/autism/
http://www.bestoutcomes.blogspot.com/
http://currentautismresearchhopeforautism.blogspot.com/
Autism is a complicated neurological disorder which affects the brain and results in a developmental disability. It is characterized by: 1) Unusual and repetitive behaviors and/or narrow obsessive interests; 2) Poor Communication; and 3) Poor social skills to include: a) lack of or difficulty with joint attention (the ability to focus on the same item, person, animal, or thing “jointly” with another person, and/or b) significantly to extremely guarded interactions.
When people talk about Autism, they may mean the entire spectrum that would include: Autism, PDD NOS, or Aspergers.
Why is it on the rise?
There has been a great deal of conflictual information regarding soaring autism rates. Some have postulated that it is caused by childhood vaccinations. This theory has been tested and rebutted multiple times. However; there is still a possibility that while perhaps not causal there may be some environmental factor(s) in the rise in autism.
Others believe that the rising rate is simply due to our better ability to recognize autism and the current interest in focusing on this particular disability. Surly there is some truth to this. We are better able to recognize autism today than twenty years ago; however, that does not explain the numbers.
Some believe that in our changing society people with milder forms of autism are having more children. This is probably the case as today there are many very successful people with some form of autism and for some, we know there is a genetic component. However; this again cannot account for all the rise in diagnoses.
Another fairly recent finding has linked the age of the parents, either the mother or the father, and the rise in autism. Some research has made a connection with older parents and an increased incidence of autism.
The bottom line is, we don’t entirely know. There may be a combination of multiple factors and/or a cause yet unknown.
What can we do about it?
Fortunately there is reason to hope. There may be medical treatments on the horizon which can significantly improve symptoms for some children. There is some promising research that may even bring about a cure or prevention for some. While it may be years before we know, some good first steps have been taken.
We also know a great deal more today about treatment, what works and for whom. Treatment is so prescriptive now that there are solid options for many according age, diagnosis, and severity. We also know that best practice includes early intervention in the child’s natural environment within the child’s natural routines and involves the parents. This type of intervention in consultation with experts in the field is relatively inexpensive, in many cases saves money over the lifetime of the child, and dramatically enhances the quality of life for both child and family. In some cases, with the right intervention and higher functioning children, it has even eliminated enough of the symptoms for the child to lose the diagnosis of autism.
Supplemental material:
Best Practice Intervention Descriptions
http://www.autismspeaks.org/whatisit/index.php
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/info/autism/
http://www.bestoutcomes.blogspot.com/
http://currentautismresearchhopeforautism.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Natural Reinforcement and Natural Consequences: Parenting that Lasts
Most parents want to teach their children skills, behaviors, and character traits which will last and even be improved upon well into adulthood. One of the keys to teaching that lasts is using natural reinforcement and natural consequences.
Too often we use contrived reinforcements and limit or eliminate the consequences. While it is appropriate to, with love and mercy, limit some consequences in some situations, it is essential for children to learn, understand, and incorporate the law of natural consequences into their lives. Children who do not learn this at a young age, will either become a sever annoyance to family, teachers, and would be friends, or will experience much more painful lessons at the hand of society.
Natural consequences can be taught in a very natural and common sense manner without getting upset or causing the child to become upset. When a young child spills a glass of milk, if s/he is able, have the child clean it up, and help if necessary. If the glass was spilled because it was too full, the consequence is less milk in the glass at one time. If the child drops the container of milk because it was too large, then the child needs to wait until s/he is a little older and bigger to try it again (and if you told the child to get the container, the cleaning up consequence may be yours).
Natural reinforcement is similarly simple. Sometimes we use contrived reinforcement to teach a child to do something and sometimes this is appropriate because it is more immediate. For example: you MAY need to use pennies or small candies to initially teach your child to put clothes or toys away; but a better reinforcer is praise from you and others, and eventually the good feeling that comes from a clean room. Another example of a contrived reinforcement is something we did with our children for a time when they were young. We had a large bag we called the “gobble monster.” Once a week, at a preset time, either my wife or I would go through the house and pick all the clothing, books, toys, and other personal items left lying around the house by our children. We would then call all the children together and give them their allowance (one of the rare times we used allowances). The children would then have to purchase everything that was theirs and that they still wanted from the “gobble monster.” (The price was the same on a per item basis.) Anything they didn’t want went to the local thrift store or we would put it into storage. Because people are not usually paid to pick up their own items around their own house, money is a contrived or artificial reinforcement. Today, all of my children are fairly tidy and prefer a clean house. Natural reinforcers have taken over from the more contrived reinforcers of their childhood.
Another example of natural reinforcement is when you are trying to teach a child to say please and the child says “please may I have a drink of milk.” Wouldn’t it be silly to say to the child “good job saying please” and give them an M & M? Unfortunately this kind of upside down contrived reinforcement, when a natural reinforcement is logical, possible, and best, occurs far too often. In this case, if possible and appropriate, give the child or tell the child that s/he can have the glass of milk. If not possible, briefly explain why not and either explain to them when they can have a glass of milk or what might be a possible alternative and thank the child for saying “please.”
Supplemental information:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement#Natural_and_artificial_reinforcement
For additional information references and resources click on the link below.
Natural Reinforcement: Parenting that Lasts
Too often we use contrived reinforcements and limit or eliminate the consequences. While it is appropriate to, with love and mercy, limit some consequences in some situations, it is essential for children to learn, understand, and incorporate the law of natural consequences into their lives. Children who do not learn this at a young age, will either become a sever annoyance to family, teachers, and would be friends, or will experience much more painful lessons at the hand of society.
Natural consequences can be taught in a very natural and common sense manner without getting upset or causing the child to become upset. When a young child spills a glass of milk, if s/he is able, have the child clean it up, and help if necessary. If the glass was spilled because it was too full, the consequence is less milk in the glass at one time. If the child drops the container of milk because it was too large, then the child needs to wait until s/he is a little older and bigger to try it again (and if you told the child to get the container, the cleaning up consequence may be yours).
Natural reinforcement is similarly simple. Sometimes we use contrived reinforcement to teach a child to do something and sometimes this is appropriate because it is more immediate. For example: you MAY need to use pennies or small candies to initially teach your child to put clothes or toys away; but a better reinforcer is praise from you and others, and eventually the good feeling that comes from a clean room. Another example of a contrived reinforcement is something we did with our children for a time when they were young. We had a large bag we called the “gobble monster.” Once a week, at a preset time, either my wife or I would go through the house and pick all the clothing, books, toys, and other personal items left lying around the house by our children. We would then call all the children together and give them their allowance (one of the rare times we used allowances). The children would then have to purchase everything that was theirs and that they still wanted from the “gobble monster.” (The price was the same on a per item basis.) Anything they didn’t want went to the local thrift store or we would put it into storage. Because people are not usually paid to pick up their own items around their own house, money is a contrived or artificial reinforcement. Today, all of my children are fairly tidy and prefer a clean house. Natural reinforcers have taken over from the more contrived reinforcers of their childhood.
Another example of natural reinforcement is when you are trying to teach a child to say please and the child says “please may I have a drink of milk.” Wouldn’t it be silly to say to the child “good job saying please” and give them an M & M? Unfortunately this kind of upside down contrived reinforcement, when a natural reinforcement is logical, possible, and best, occurs far too often. In this case, if possible and appropriate, give the child or tell the child that s/he can have the glass of milk. If not possible, briefly explain why not and either explain to them when they can have a glass of milk or what might be a possible alternative and thank the child for saying “please.”
Supplemental information:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement#Natural_and_artificial_reinforcement
For additional information references and resources click on the link below.
Natural Reinforcement: Parenting that Lasts
Monday, November 22, 2010
Teaching Your Child To Work
One of the greatest gifts a parent can give their child is the ability and the tenacity to work. There is an old saying that “it’s a lazy parent who does everything for their child.” This includes all but the youngest babies, the most seriously disabled or ill. Work is one of the ways children learn efficacy. Efficacy is an important component of resilience and is an important factor in overcoming stress.
When children are young, they are often anxious to help their parents. Unfortunately many see this as too much bother; however, there are many things even young children can do in moderation as long as it is safe.
My oldest son was fascinated by the vacuum. We didn’t take advantage of this by making him vacuum the whole house; but we did let him, from a young age vacuum small parts of the house (even if someone had to go over the same area again at a later time when he wasn’t around).
Children also need to be taught to do things on their own and for themselves even when they do not want to. Even fairly young children can learn to put away their toys and even some of their clothes. Work can be fun and it can be done cooperatively with other family members to increase family unity and responsibility.
Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing.
Thomas A. Edison
Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.
Theodore Roosevelt
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
Sam Ewing
Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction.
Anne Frank
Nothing ever comes to one, that is worth having, except as a result of hard work.
Booker T. Washington
Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.
Ann Landers
Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work.
Peter Drucker
The harder I work, the luckier I get.
Samuel Goldwyn
The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.
Harry Golden
"All true Work is sacred; in all true Work, were it but but hand-labour, there is something of divineness. Labor, wide as the Earth, has it's summit in Heaven."
Thomas Carlyle
Supplemental Material:
Teach Your Child to Work Hard Without Complaining
Teaching Children To Work without Complaining!!!
Teach Your Kids Work Ethic
Bad Parenting -- Why Americans Need To Toughen Up
When children are young, they are often anxious to help their parents. Unfortunately many see this as too much bother; however, there are many things even young children can do in moderation as long as it is safe.
My oldest son was fascinated by the vacuum. We didn’t take advantage of this by making him vacuum the whole house; but we did let him, from a young age vacuum small parts of the house (even if someone had to go over the same area again at a later time when he wasn’t around).
Children also need to be taught to do things on their own and for themselves even when they do not want to. Even fairly young children can learn to put away their toys and even some of their clothes. Work can be fun and it can be done cooperatively with other family members to increase family unity and responsibility.
Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing.
Thomas A. Edison
Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.
Theodore Roosevelt
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
Sam Ewing
Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction.
Anne Frank
Nothing ever comes to one, that is worth having, except as a result of hard work.
Booker T. Washington
Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.
Ann Landers
Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work.
Peter Drucker
The harder I work, the luckier I get.
Samuel Goldwyn
The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.
Harry Golden
"All true Work is sacred; in all true Work, were it but but hand-labour, there is something of divineness. Labor, wide as the Earth, has it's summit in Heaven."
Thomas Carlyle
Supplemental Material:
Teach Your Child to Work Hard Without Complaining
Teaching Children To Work without Complaining!!!
Teach Your Kids Work Ethic
Bad Parenting -- Why Americans Need To Toughen Up
Saturday, November 20, 2010
NEVERTHELESS: One of the magic words of parenting
One of the mistakes parents often make not only with their teenage children; but with younger children as well is to get into arguments. While it is important to explain things to children and to have open dialogue, it is equally important to avoid arguments. If your objective it to help your children become responsible efficacious adults with good social skills, high morals and strong work ethics, every time you get into an argument, you loose and ultimately, so do they.
Before you get into the argument, you will want to teach your children and explain boundaries and expectations. If you have already done that on multiple occasions where the child/teen has already had many honest and safe opportunities to truly express themselves and ask questions and where possible you have found the ability to compromise or find appropriate ways and times to say “yes” then it is much easier when potential arguments ensue. When the appropriate groundwork has been laid and you are genuinely open to the possibility to alter SOME rules in some situations where it may be appropriate, and your child/teen has leaned to trust you and the relationship; it is much easier when necessary to simply divert the argument by simply saying: “nevertheless”…
For example: after pleading to stay out until 1:A.M. or 2:A.M., your response can simply be: “nevertheless, your curfew on Friday nights is midnight.” Or after your teen has stayed out until after midnight and returned late and starts to explain that the movie wasn’t over or whatever: “nevertheless your curfew on Friday nights is midnight and now your consequence is”…
There is no reason for you to be angry or for your teen to be surprised if you are consistent. In the long term scheme of things, it is a win/win scenario.
There is another, almost opposite use for the magic word “nevertheless” in parenting.
As your children grown and mature, they need to learn to be responsible for developmentally appropriate decisions and the consequences of those decisions.
After explaining your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings on a matter, turn the question back to the child and say “nevertheless” you are free to choose.
Obviously there are limits to the decisions where your child is free to choose, according to the child’s age and maturity as stated previously (with some dangerous and illegal options remaining off limits); however, children and teens need to learn to make choices and also accept the responsibility of those choices if you hope for them to be able to make good responsible choices as adults.
Before you get into the argument, you will want to teach your children and explain boundaries and expectations. If you have already done that on multiple occasions where the child/teen has already had many honest and safe opportunities to truly express themselves and ask questions and where possible you have found the ability to compromise or find appropriate ways and times to say “yes” then it is much easier when potential arguments ensue. When the appropriate groundwork has been laid and you are genuinely open to the possibility to alter SOME rules in some situations where it may be appropriate, and your child/teen has leaned to trust you and the relationship; it is much easier when necessary to simply divert the argument by simply saying: “nevertheless”…
For example: after pleading to stay out until 1:A.M. or 2:A.M., your response can simply be: “nevertheless, your curfew on Friday nights is midnight.” Or after your teen has stayed out until after midnight and returned late and starts to explain that the movie wasn’t over or whatever: “nevertheless your curfew on Friday nights is midnight and now your consequence is”…
There is no reason for you to be angry or for your teen to be surprised if you are consistent. In the long term scheme of things, it is a win/win scenario.
There is another, almost opposite use for the magic word “nevertheless” in parenting.
As your children grown and mature, they need to learn to be responsible for developmentally appropriate decisions and the consequences of those decisions.
After explaining your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings on a matter, turn the question back to the child and say “nevertheless” you are free to choose.
Obviously there are limits to the decisions where your child is free to choose, according to the child’s age and maturity as stated previously (with some dangerous and illegal options remaining off limits); however, children and teens need to learn to make choices and also accept the responsibility of those choices if you hope for them to be able to make good responsible choices as adults.
Friday, November 19, 2010
The Power of Yes in Parenting
The Power of Yes in parenting does not mean that you are an overly permissive parent or one who can not set boundaries. Effectively using the power of yes can really be a matter of timing and perspective. Many children hear “no” over and over again; but a “yes” is infinitely more powerful, hopeful, and efficacy building, than a “no.”
For example: when a child asks to go play and you know they have homework or a chore to do, instead of saying “no,” you need to do….. try saying “yes” as soon as you have done …
If it’s something that will require additional skills or maturity, talk with them about what needs to occur in their life before the answer will be “yes” then tell them, when those things have occurred, “yes” they can.
Again, this does not mean that there is a “yes” to everything.
For example to the question, “can I go over to my friend’s and do meth?” The answer is always a resounding “no” with an explanation of the dangers (and perhaps a conversation with law enforcement and/or the friend’s parent if you have reason to believe the friend is in possession of and/or providing meth to others). You will also want to have a discussion of the underlying reasons why s/he wants to go over to a friends to do meth, what alternative appropriate activity might provide the same or similar results (for the underlying appropriate need ie friendship) and a “yes” to the alternative activity. Sometimes the underlying need may require some additional skills, resources and assistance. If you need help, get help. For example: if the underlying need is to feel accepted and have friends. Help your child become involved in more appropriate activities and develop relationships with more appropriate friends. Sometimes this may require some social skill training. Your school counselor or a religious leader may be able to help.
Supplemental Materials:
Just Say Yes: The Power of Positive Parenting
http://www.babyzone.com/toddler/toddler_development/discipline/article/positive-parenting-power
Reed Galin: The Power of 'Yes'
http://www.beliefnet.com/Video/Parenting/Reed-Galin-The-Power-Of-Yes.aspx
For example: when a child asks to go play and you know they have homework or a chore to do, instead of saying “no,” you need to do….. try saying “yes” as soon as you have done …
If it’s something that will require additional skills or maturity, talk with them about what needs to occur in their life before the answer will be “yes” then tell them, when those things have occurred, “yes” they can.
Again, this does not mean that there is a “yes” to everything.
For example to the question, “can I go over to my friend’s and do meth?” The answer is always a resounding “no” with an explanation of the dangers (and perhaps a conversation with law enforcement and/or the friend’s parent if you have reason to believe the friend is in possession of and/or providing meth to others). You will also want to have a discussion of the underlying reasons why s/he wants to go over to a friends to do meth, what alternative appropriate activity might provide the same or similar results (for the underlying appropriate need ie friendship) and a “yes” to the alternative activity. Sometimes the underlying need may require some additional skills, resources and assistance. If you need help, get help. For example: if the underlying need is to feel accepted and have friends. Help your child become involved in more appropriate activities and develop relationships with more appropriate friends. Sometimes this may require some social skill training. Your school counselor or a religious leader may be able to help.
Supplemental Materials:
Just Say Yes: The Power of Positive Parenting
http://www.babyzone.com/toddler/toddler_development/discipline/article/positive-parenting-power
Reed Galin: The Power of 'Yes'
http://www.beliefnet.com/Video/Parenting/Reed-Galin-The-Power-Of-Yes.aspx
Color Think Tank - the psychology of color
Color Think Tank - the psychology of color: "Our personal and cultural associations affect our experience of color. Colors are seen as warm or cool mainly because of long-held (and often universal) associations. Yellow, orange and red are associated with the heat of sun and fire; blue, green and violet with the coolness of leaves, sea and the sky. Warm colors seem closer to the viewer than cool colors, but vivid cool colors can overwhelm light and subtle warm colors. Using warm colors for foreground and cool colors for background enhances the perception of depth."
Color psychology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Color psychology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "Inherent difficulties in properly controlling trials of color's effect on humans mean that a subject's expectations and cultural bias cannot be ruled out. Moreover, much evidence is anecdotal (e.g. the blue street lighting case) or based on data that includes confounders (e.g. the shirt-color correlation). Chromotherapy, a form of alternative medicine, is based on the hypothesis that distinct colors have health effects[10] unrelated to the aforementioned placebo effect. Such profound claims are the subject of skepticism and are often regarded as pseudoscience."
Colors and Moods
Colors and Moods: "Color, without our realizing it, can have a profound effect on how we feel both mentally and physically. Dr. Morton Walker, in his book The Power of Color, suggested that the ancient Egyptians as well as the Native American Indians used color and colored light to heal. Below are some emotional associations that humans tend to have with certain colors. These are important to keep in mind in order to create the mood you are seeking."
Color: Meaning, Symbolism and Psychology
Color: Meaning, Symbolism and Psychology: "Our reaction to color is instantaneous and this lens is a quick look at general responses based on research, historical significance of color and word association studies.
I have also included links to color personality tests that may give you some insight into your own color associations as well as how you react to different colors."
I have also included links to color personality tests that may give you some insight into your own color associations as well as how you react to different colors."
Color Psychology - The Psychology of Color
Color Psychology - The Psychology of Color: "Color Psychology as Therapy
Several ancient cultures, including the Egyptians and Chinese, practiced chromotherapy, or using colors to heal. Chromotherapy is sometimes referred to as light therapy or colourology and is still used today as a holistic or alternative treatment.
In this treatment:
Red was used to stimulate the body and mind and to increase circulation.
Yellow was thought to stimulate the nerves and purify the body.
Orange was used to heal the lungs and to increase energy levels.
Blue was believed to soothe illnesses and treat pain.
Indigo shades were thought to alleviate skin problems."
Several ancient cultures, including the Egyptians and Chinese, practiced chromotherapy, or using colors to heal. Chromotherapy is sometimes referred to as light therapy or colourology and is still used today as a holistic or alternative treatment.
In this treatment:
Red was used to stimulate the body and mind and to increase circulation.
Yellow was thought to stimulate the nerves and purify the body.
Orange was used to heal the lungs and to increase energy levels.
Blue was believed to soothe illnesses and treat pain.
Indigo shades were thought to alleviate skin problems."
Psychology Of Color
Psychology Of Color: "Color is a meaningful constant for sighted people and it's a powerful psychological tool. By using color psychology, you can send a positive or negative message, encourage sales, calm a crowd, or make an athlete pump iron harder.
Employ the latest color psychology in all facets of marketing and particularly in logo design, web site design, the cover of a book, or the package of a product.
The field of industrial psychology has a sub-field that studies only the psychology of color. It is no accident that Campbell's soup has used the same four colors on their labels for years and years. When I mentioned that product, I'll bet an image of that label popped into your head."
Employ the latest color psychology in all facets of marketing and particularly in logo design, web site design, the cover of a book, or the package of a product.
The field of industrial psychology has a sub-field that studies only the psychology of color. It is no accident that Campbell's soup has used the same four colors on their labels for years and years. When I mentioned that product, I'll bet an image of that label popped into your head."
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Working Paper #9: Persistent Fear and Anxiety Can Affect Young Children’s Learning and Development
Working Paper #9: Persistent Fear and Anxiety Can Affect Young Children’s Learning and Development: "Ensuring that young children have safe, secure environments in which to grow, learn, and develop healthy brains and bodies is not only good for the children themselves but also builds a strong foundation for a thriving, prosperous society. Science shows that early exposure to circumstances that produce persistent fear and chronic anxiety can have lifelong consequences by disrupting the developing architecture of the brain. Unfortunately, many young children are exposed to such circumstances. This report from the National Scientific Council on the Developing Child summarizes in clear language why, while some of these experiences are one-time events and others may reoccur or persist over time, all of them have the potential to affect how children learn, solve problems, and relate to others."
Monday, November 15, 2010
Nightmares: Causes and help for children with nightmares
You have to know who you are, if you don't you have nightmares.
Stephen Rea
Some nightmares are fairly normal for young children and often originate from fears, anxiety, and misunderstanding. Usually these are fairly typical and are sometimes caused by immature and inadequate processing and understanding of what is and has gone on in the child’s life. Sometimes nightmares arise from trauma or more significant anxiety or stressors. In these cases, responsible adults need to do what they can to reduce the turmoil causing this, and likely other problems for the child. Sometimes the nightmares arise from the viewing of inappropriate entertainment. This viewing, even on an occasional basis can cause behavioral and psychological problems beyond the nightmare or even night terror. Terminate the viewing or even hearing of these types of entertainment completely. That usually means that when the child is in the house, you don’t watch it either because you don’t know what the child may hear or if the child may get up for some reason and you certainly don’t want to be punitive of your child for getting up in the night on an irregular basis for brief periods of time because they feel they need you.
When there is trauma in the life of the child, even if only witnessed, eliminating the trauma and processing through play therapy can be very beneficial.
For simple, common nightmares, helping your child to reframe the nightmare into an empowering process through lucid dreaming can be very helpful.
As soon as the child has the nightmare, have them tell you about it and then ask them if they could change something about the dream to make it more pleasant, such as imagining the scary wolf to be a small friendly puppy. When my oldest was about five, she was having bad dreams about dark shadowy ghosts. We talked about it and since she had seen cartoons of Casper the Friendly Ghost, I asked if she could imagine the ghosts in her dream looked like Casper. She matter of factly responded and said “no” they are pink. That was the end of the problem.
Supplemental material:
Sleep Hygiene
Nightmares and Night Terrors in Children
Nightmares: Children’s WebMD
How to stop nightmares in children
Nightmare Remedies: Helping Your Child Tame the Demons of the Night
Stress HELPING YOUR CHILDREN (and you) THROUGH TIMES OF STRESS
Autism, Anxiety and Nightmares
LDS Parent: Taming Nightmares
Stephen Rea
Some nightmares are fairly normal for young children and often originate from fears, anxiety, and misunderstanding. Usually these are fairly typical and are sometimes caused by immature and inadequate processing and understanding of what is and has gone on in the child’s life. Sometimes nightmares arise from trauma or more significant anxiety or stressors. In these cases, responsible adults need to do what they can to reduce the turmoil causing this, and likely other problems for the child. Sometimes the nightmares arise from the viewing of inappropriate entertainment. This viewing, even on an occasional basis can cause behavioral and psychological problems beyond the nightmare or even night terror. Terminate the viewing or even hearing of these types of entertainment completely. That usually means that when the child is in the house, you don’t watch it either because you don’t know what the child may hear or if the child may get up for some reason and you certainly don’t want to be punitive of your child for getting up in the night on an irregular basis for brief periods of time because they feel they need you.
When there is trauma in the life of the child, even if only witnessed, eliminating the trauma and processing through play therapy can be very beneficial.
For simple, common nightmares, helping your child to reframe the nightmare into an empowering process through lucid dreaming can be very helpful.
As soon as the child has the nightmare, have them tell you about it and then ask them if they could change something about the dream to make it more pleasant, such as imagining the scary wolf to be a small friendly puppy. When my oldest was about five, she was having bad dreams about dark shadowy ghosts. We talked about it and since she had seen cartoons of Casper the Friendly Ghost, I asked if she could imagine the ghosts in her dream looked like Casper. She matter of factly responded and said “no” they are pink. That was the end of the problem.
Supplemental material:
Sleep Hygiene
Nightmares and Night Terrors in Children
Nightmares: Children’s WebMD
How to stop nightmares in children
Nightmare Remedies: Helping Your Child Tame the Demons of the Night
Stress HELPING YOUR CHILDREN (and you) THROUGH TIMES OF STRESS
Autism, Anxiety and Nightmares
LDS Parent: Taming Nightmares
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Decisions Determine Destiny
Have you ever watched someone do something really stupid or really bad on television or in the theatre and thought to yourself or said to a friend ‘that was really stupid, or I would never do that!’
Have you ever seen or heard about a co-worker, friend, or family member doing something similar and had a similar response?
Do you ever wonder how someone could ever get themselves ‘in that situation?’ Then say or think to yourself, it would never happen to me.
Sometimes people find themselves in absolutely horrible situations for absolutely no fault of their own; but sometimes, even often, it is an incremental step by step process. It’s not usually the major decisions or mistakes that get us into a lot of trouble; but the little day by day even hour by hour decisions we make. It’s the small decisions that provide practice and direction for the big ones. It’s the decisions we make before the big ones have to be made that to a great extent, determine our destiny.
It is the small day to day decisions that determine, for the most part, who your associates will be, what kind of environments you will be in, what kind of opportunities you will have, and if you will be able to make the most of the opportunities which occur. It is the same for your children. When we come to understand this, and make the best small decisions possible, the really tough decisions become easier and we find ourselves in fewer situations beyond our control.
Remember, oftentimes, the little, sometimes just a little rebellious or just a little naughty, decisions we make now to demonstrate how free we are, diminish our freedoms and choices in the future.
On the other hand, decisions to: study hard, take responsibility, learn and follow the rules, act with dignity and respect and treat everyone the same way, even when no one else notices, usually creates more opportunities and greater freedom in the future.
For example, NASA astronauts have had very strict guidelines for learning, health, and behavior. They have had to do things which some might consider confining and restrictive, and yet many have had the freedom to do things, literally out of this world.
Sometimes parents rescue their children from the consequences of their little mistakes. I'm not suggesting overly harsh punishments for slight infractions; but the simple lessons which come from the natural consequences of little mistakes. For example: a five year old spills their milk, there's no need to make a big deal cry or yell about it, just simply had them a wash cloth and lovingly ask them to clean it up. Give them instructions if necessary and be patient to make sure they get it done. These simple lessons, even though they may take you a little longer than it would take for you to clean it up yourself, means everything in the long run and will probably save you and your child a enormous amount of time and heartache in the future.
EVERYONE, except perhaps the most severely intellectually disabled, have opportunities to make little decisions and it’s the little decisions that make all the difference.
For additional information, type in: Decisions Determine Destiny in either of the search engines below.
Have you ever seen or heard about a co-worker, friend, or family member doing something similar and had a similar response?
Do you ever wonder how someone could ever get themselves ‘in that situation?’ Then say or think to yourself, it would never happen to me.
Sometimes people find themselves in absolutely horrible situations for absolutely no fault of their own; but sometimes, even often, it is an incremental step by step process. It’s not usually the major decisions or mistakes that get us into a lot of trouble; but the little day by day even hour by hour decisions we make. It’s the small decisions that provide practice and direction for the big ones. It’s the decisions we make before the big ones have to be made that to a great extent, determine our destiny.
It is the small day to day decisions that determine, for the most part, who your associates will be, what kind of environments you will be in, what kind of opportunities you will have, and if you will be able to make the most of the opportunities which occur. It is the same for your children. When we come to understand this, and make the best small decisions possible, the really tough decisions become easier and we find ourselves in fewer situations beyond our control.
Remember, oftentimes, the little, sometimes just a little rebellious or just a little naughty, decisions we make now to demonstrate how free we are, diminish our freedoms and choices in the future.
On the other hand, decisions to: study hard, take responsibility, learn and follow the rules, act with dignity and respect and treat everyone the same way, even when no one else notices, usually creates more opportunities and greater freedom in the future.
For example, NASA astronauts have had very strict guidelines for learning, health, and behavior. They have had to do things which some might consider confining and restrictive, and yet many have had the freedom to do things, literally out of this world.
Sometimes parents rescue their children from the consequences of their little mistakes. I'm not suggesting overly harsh punishments for slight infractions; but the simple lessons which come from the natural consequences of little mistakes. For example: a five year old spills their milk, there's no need to make a big deal cry or yell about it, just simply had them a wash cloth and lovingly ask them to clean it up. Give them instructions if necessary and be patient to make sure they get it done. These simple lessons, even though they may take you a little longer than it would take for you to clean it up yourself, means everything in the long run and will probably save you and your child a enormous amount of time and heartache in the future.
EVERYONE, except perhaps the most severely intellectually disabled, have opportunities to make little decisions and it’s the little decisions that make all the difference.
For additional information, type in: Decisions Determine Destiny in either of the search engines below.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Hiding
Hiding is a behavior sometimes associated with an anxiety disorder and past or recurring trauma. Hiding is more than just exhibiting shyness. It is the ability to disappear in plain sight and in a group, even a small group in a small room. It is sometimes learned as a coping mechanism used to disappear in the face of trauma when escape is impossible or at the least extremely difficult.
It is not the same as learned helplessness where a person simply gives up and gives in. It is a purposeful coping mechanism.
This is not just the typical child playing hide and go seek or just hiding for fun. That is very typical behavior. This is the child who seems to be able to just disappear and be forgotten.
This MAY be a behavior to be concerned with and talk with your physician or a mental health professional about.
It is not the same as learned helplessness where a person simply gives up and gives in. It is a purposeful coping mechanism.
This is not just the typical child playing hide and go seek or just hiding for fun. That is very typical behavior. This is the child who seems to be able to just disappear and be forgotten.
This MAY be a behavior to be concerned with and talk with your physician or a mental health professional about.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Study: ‘Hyper-Texting’ Teens More Likely to Have Had Sex, Tried Drugs – TIME Healthland
Study: ‘Hyper-Texting’ Teens More Likely to Have Had Sex, Tried Drugs – TIME Healthland: "Teens who send more than 120 texts a day are more likely to have had sex or used alcohol or illegal drugs than peers who text less, according to a study conducted at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine. These 'hyper-texters' were also more likely to get into physical fights, binge drink and misuse prescription drugs.
Despite the suggestive findings, researchers are quick to stress that they do not show that texting causes risky behavior, the Associated Press reports. Rather it may have more to do with peer pressure and lack of parental oversight."
Despite the suggestive findings, researchers are quick to stress that they do not show that texting causes risky behavior, the Associated Press reports. Rather it may have more to do with peer pressure and lack of parental oversight."
Monday, November 8, 2010
Better and more effective intervention for much less money, commonly as little as 20% of what is often currently being spent.
Evidence Based Family Centered Practice, sometimes called Coaching and sometimes provided through P.L.A.Y.; but which comes in many effective and proven forms and models, which include contextualized routine based intervention is very often the most effective and cost efficient intervention for children with developmental disabilities and/or mental health concerns. All of these variations require extensive family involvement and responsibility; but generally speaking only minor alterations in environment and schedule, especially for parents who normally wish to spend both quality and quantity time with their children. The biggest difference isn’t so much of what you do; but how you do it, and how you interact to enhance your child’s best behavior, functional skills, and relationships.
Frequently the best intervention to accomplish these outcomes is through consultation and education with limited direct interaction between the therapist and the child and more interaction between the parent and child with some observation, consultation, and even demonstration on the part of the therapist.
Frequently the best intervention to accomplish these outcomes is through consultation and education with limited direct interaction between the therapist and the child and more interaction between the parent and child with some observation, consultation, and even demonstration on the part of the therapist.
CDC - Frequently Asked Questions - Alcohol
CDC - Frequently Asked Questions - Alcohol: "Alcohol affects every organ in the body. It is a central nervous system depressant that is rapidly absorbed from the stomach and small intestine into the bloodstream. Alcohol is metabolized in the liver by enzymes; however, the liver can only metabolize a small amount of alcohol at a time, leaving the excess alcohol to circulate throughout the body. The intensity of the effect of alcohol on the body is directly related to the amount consumed."
Alcohol: MedlinePlus
Alcohol: MedlinePlus: "Anything more than moderate drinking can be risky. Binge drinking - drinking five or more drinks at one time - can damage your health and increase your risk for accidents, injuries and assault. Years of heavy drinking can lead to liver disease, heart disease, cancer and pancreatitis. It can also cause problems at home, at work and with friends."
President of UCC issues alcohol warning | Irish Examiner
President of UCC issues alcohol warning Irish Examiner: "It is estimated that one person dies in Ireland every seven hours from alcohol- related illness, drink is a factor in almost one-third of emergency department visits and 2,000 hospital beds are occupied by patients with drink-related illnesses.
The UCC boss said attitudes might be different if people were more aware that alcohol is more damaging to society than smoking or any other drug, which was highlighted in the Lancet journal this week."
The UCC boss said attitudes might be different if people were more aware that alcohol is more damaging to society than smoking or any other drug, which was highlighted in the Lancet journal this week."
Monday, November 1, 2010
Parenting a Child with Depression
Depression is a complicated illness/disorder.
Sometimes it is characterized by huge mood swings such as for someone with Bi-Polar or Manic Depression
Sometimes it can be a so called low grade chronic depression which is called Dysthymia, or a chronic Major Depression.
Sometimes it can be caused primarily by a chemical imbalance and sometime by stress and more often a combination of the two. In most cases it is partly biological, partly environmental, and partly behavioral. It can manifest itself in withdrawal, fatigue, loss of interest, and difficulty in concentration (among other symptoms) or it can manifest itself in anger and aggression.
Depression often co-occurs with developmental disabilities, physical disabilities and disease, substance abuse, and/or mental health disorders.
Fortunately, in most cases, when diagnosed and treated correctly, depression is easily treatable. There was a time, not so very long ago when it was believed young children could not suffer from depression. That time has past; young children can suffer from depression.
One of the most significant predictors of depressions in an infant is maternal depression. There is appropriate treatment for both the parent and the child. As with most mood or behavioral disorders in children, there is a logical sequence of treatment, with direct treatment for the child being the last option unless the child is in a life threatening situation. When possible, setting events, environmental issues, attachment, nutrition, sleep, hygene, and relationships should be evaluated and ameliorated as needed first, before directly treating or at least as, the child is being directly treated.
Supplemental Materials:
DYSTHYMIC DISORDER
http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis/p20-md04.html
Dysthymic Disorder
http://www.allaboutdepression.com/dia_04.html
Depression in children
http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&np=141&id=1920
When Parents Are Depressed
http://www.healthyplace.com/depression/children/when-parents-are-depressed/menu-id-68/
Parenting a Child with Depression
http://www.healthyplace.com/parenting/depression/parenting-child-with-depression/menu-id-61/
Depression (major depression) Definition by Mayo Clinic Staff
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/DS00175
For additional information please use the Google Parenting and Scholar search engines below.
Sometimes it is characterized by huge mood swings such as for someone with Bi-Polar or Manic Depression
Sometimes it can be a so called low grade chronic depression which is called Dysthymia, or a chronic Major Depression.
Sometimes it can be caused primarily by a chemical imbalance and sometime by stress and more often a combination of the two. In most cases it is partly biological, partly environmental, and partly behavioral. It can manifest itself in withdrawal, fatigue, loss of interest, and difficulty in concentration (among other symptoms) or it can manifest itself in anger and aggression.
Depression often co-occurs with developmental disabilities, physical disabilities and disease, substance abuse, and/or mental health disorders.
Fortunately, in most cases, when diagnosed and treated correctly, depression is easily treatable. There was a time, not so very long ago when it was believed young children could not suffer from depression. That time has past; young children can suffer from depression.
One of the most significant predictors of depressions in an infant is maternal depression. There is appropriate treatment for both the parent and the child. As with most mood or behavioral disorders in children, there is a logical sequence of treatment, with direct treatment for the child being the last option unless the child is in a life threatening situation. When possible, setting events, environmental issues, attachment, nutrition, sleep, hygene, and relationships should be evaluated and ameliorated as needed first, before directly treating or at least as, the child is being directly treated.
Supplemental Materials:
DYSTHYMIC DISORDER
http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis/p20-md04.html
Dysthymic Disorder
http://www.allaboutdepression.com/dia_04.html
Depression in children
http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&np=141&id=1920
When Parents Are Depressed
http://www.healthyplace.com/depression/children/when-parents-are-depressed/menu-id-68/
Parenting a Child with Depression
http://www.healthyplace.com/parenting/depression/parenting-child-with-depression/menu-id-61/
Depression (major depression) Definition by Mayo Clinic Staff
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/DS00175
For additional information please use the Google Parenting and Scholar search engines below.
The behavior we allow is the behavior we get - Corrections News
The behavior we allow is the behavior we get - Corrections News: "What do libraries and museums have that prisons and bars don't?
Why are some schools, jails, and emergency rooms more violent than others? Why are some sections of a prison more violent than others, even though the conditions are identical? It may have something to do with social contracts.
No one would be shocked to see a fight in a tavern, at a major league baseball game, or even in an emergency room. But is there anything that could be done to lower the levels of violence in these places? Most likely the answer is yes.
Have you ever seen a fight in a library? I spend a lot of time in libraries and I’ve never seen one. In fact, I’ve never heard so much as a heated argument in a library. I have, however, witnessed loud arguments, loud offensive cursing, and even fist fights in gas stations, grocery stores, department stores, fast food joints, doctor’s offices, hospitals, and taverns. But I’ve never seen such behavior at a museum, a church or a library."
Why are some schools, jails, and emergency rooms more violent than others? Why are some sections of a prison more violent than others, even though the conditions are identical? It may have something to do with social contracts.
No one would be shocked to see a fight in a tavern, at a major league baseball game, or even in an emergency room. But is there anything that could be done to lower the levels of violence in these places? Most likely the answer is yes.
Have you ever seen a fight in a library? I spend a lot of time in libraries and I’ve never seen one. In fact, I’ve never heard so much as a heated argument in a library. I have, however, witnessed loud arguments, loud offensive cursing, and even fist fights in gas stations, grocery stores, department stores, fast food joints, doctor’s offices, hospitals, and taverns. But I’ve never seen such behavior at a museum, a church or a library."
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